Friday, July 04, 2003

Five Possessions or Habits That Identify Me As Part of a Marketing Demographic

1. Apple Powerbook. Buying an Apple is a statement of identity, because it proves to the world that I "think different." Indeed, people often whisper, "Hey! He really thinks different." I recognize that Apples are just the beginning -- the road to Land Rovers begins with Apples, even if you never get that far. Of course, I'm just investing in quality. But some people can be so pretentious about it.

2. Woven jute rug. From the Pottery Barn, of course. I could walk into the Pottery Barn, say "I'll take it," and be perfectly happy with the result. If I could afford it, that is. There's something so 2003 about using a rough-woven, third-world-looking rug in front of a wall of home theater electronics.

3. Jonah. We get the damnest catalogs now, each containing a thousand and one valuable "tools" (gadgets) for raising a baby. Of course, if one doesn't drop $500 a week on gadgets, one's baby will be carried off by wolves and it will be all YOUR FAULT because you didn't want to spend the money. And isn't Jonah worth it?

4. Coffee. At 3:00 every day, I get a craving for an espresso-based drink and a pastry. And -- what are the odds? -- there's this little coffee stand in the lobby of our building called "Starbucks" that somehow has exactly what I want. You wouldn't believe it -- it's like their entire ordering system lets you "identify" yourself through your order. And when I want a coffee mug, they always have just the type I'm looking for.

5. Seventeen bookcases' worth of books. I can always identify "my kind of people" when I walk into their house and it becomes apparent that their number one decorating concern was book storage. We have umpteen bookcases and umpteen boxes of books just waiting for a space to open up. We also have a whole bookcase devoted to movies and a 20GB MP3 player overflowing with music. In short, I am personally responsible for Amazon.com's success over the past few years.

So, Adam -- this isn't my best, it's just more than you can handle.

 9:48 AM

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