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Sunday, February 08, 2004

8. Okay. The Black-Eyed Peas continued two more themes. First, the female lead singer -- whose abs made you want to stand and applaud -- looked exactly like Charo. And she was wearing leg warmers, which is a trend I want to squelch as soon as possible. Really. The 80s hurt a lot of people with leg warmers, and we must never forget. I will bear witness.

The second theme was men wearing skirts. Sting performed earlier in a black shirt and knee socks, which has to be one of the all-time bad fashion choices, even if you are famous for twelve-hour tantric sex sessions. And one of the Black Eyed Peas was wearing flowing culottes as he patiently explained to the audience that the problem with al Qaeda and the CIA was that they needed love. Fortunately, he finally had a platform from which he could explain this critical insight.

And I forgot to mention the low point of the evening: Justin Timberlake earnestly doing his best Stevie Wonder impression, in a way that thoroughly highlighted every single pathetic-little-white-boy characteristic he had.

 8:48 PM

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